MY "Black" FRIDAY COLUMN

This week in MY FRIDAY COLUMN:

THE PILGRIMS HAD A LOT TO BE THANKFUL FOR

For this holiday week column I try a little sarcasm and satire in my own little version of "Fractured Fairy Tales"


     When the pilgrims sat down to eat with the Native Americans for the first Thanksgiving in 1621, they had a lot to be thankful for.  Besides leaving England and sailing to what would become the greatest country in the world, that day they were mostly thankful for the harvest.   They were no longer under the direct thumb of King James and would not have to endure a constant barrage of tabloid media about his children’s pending nuptials, and for that they could also be thankful.

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Without television they were also thankful that they were spared the never ending onslaught of “reality” television.  It seems the networks have taken people’s 15 minutes that Andy Warhol so graciously granted,  and extended it for an hour each week on Bravo or TLC.  The latest to be escalated to “star” of their own show is the family of Sarah Palin.  Impregnated too early to land a role in MTV’s “Teen Mom” oldest daughter Bristol has made quite an impact on ABC’s “Dancing with the Stars(?)”.   Before I get angry hate mail for attacking a poor young girl,  she says she wants a private life for her and her family yet accepts a role on a show she is clearly not qualified.  Luckily her mom doesn’t read any newspapers or magazines to realize how bad of a dancer she really is.

Bristol also co-stars with her parents in “Sarah Palin’s Alaska” (check local listings). I caught a few minutes of the show the other night and basically Mrs. Palin looks out of her element trying to look common and doing things that the folks of Alaska are notorious for.  The real star of that show is the State of Alaska and its beautiful scenery.  Having to bear (pun intended) her whiny nasal voice is a high price to pay for the wonder and majesty of our 49th state.

The Pilgrims could also be thankful that the Wal-marts and Best Buys of the new world had not yet invented “Black Friday”.   They were able to sleep off their “Turkey Tryptophan High” without having to think about standing in line to get a chance of nabbing that 87 inch Plasma Television for only $79.99 (quantities are limited/No Rainchecks).  I am sure that no one was ever trampled or shot standing in line overnight at the local mercantile.

In those first few years when the Pilgrims went over the river and through the woods to grandmother’s house they didn’t have to pay a toll, for which they were most assuredly thankful.  These were the years before Sherman Minton, John F. Kennedy, and Clark Wilhelm Griswold Jr. (Namesake of the Clark Memorial Bridge) had built their respective bridges connecting Metropolitan Louisville to Southern Indiana.  It would be a number of years before the Bi-State “Authority” would be created (or any State for that matter), so the Pilgrims were safe from an unelected body imposing a “tax” on Southern Indiana commuters.

The Pilgrims could also be thankful that they did not have to attend city council meetings.  This bi-monthly Ringling Brothers adventure where the citizens of New Albany witness the worst that government has to offer, has only gotten worse recently.  The members disregard for civility, the endless grandstanding and the overall  distain for rules and decorum are probably a contributing factor with apathy on election day.  I personally thought that as next year’s election got a little closer that the members would be on better behavior.  It has only gotten worse.

The Pilgrims had to endure a lot of hardships those first few years establishing their settlement in the New World.  They were just starting out and had a long road ahead, they knew there would be obstacles, but they would persevere.  We can all take a lesson from the example that they set for us.  There are some things that I dislike about this community, our region, and the world but they are far outweighed by the many things that I am thankful for.